Thursday, June 23, 2011

Dealing With Life's Curveballs

Warning: This post is a little ramble-y and a little more personal than I usually get here. Just thought you should have fair warning.

Last night was the first time in more than a month that I felt like everything would be OK.

I know I've mentioned a few times that this past month has been stressful to the max. I have a lot going on and so many things I'm trying to juggle and my stress levels have been at an all time high. There have been many nights where I have come home from work and collapsed into my bed in a combination of tears and exhaustion. Not because of work, I just don't do crying in the office.

But when I got home from a hot and sweaty three miler last night, I had this strange moment of mental clarity, where I just realized everything was going to be OK -- that I would be OK.

I've tried to write this blog post about five times in an attempt to accurately describe the sense of calm, accomplishment and maybe even hope that I felt after my run last night.

But nothing I write seems to be make sense.

The run itself was nothing special. Just a short three miler in the 97 degree weather that left me drenched in sweat and trying to catch my breath as I paced around my dining room afterward.

As I was cooling down and chugging my Gatorade recovery smoothie (which was pretty delicious by the way), everything just sort of came together for me.

I stopped worrying about all the little and big things that have been weighing on me lately. I finally got to a point where I knew it would all be OK because everything tends to work itself out in the end. I finally felt like myself again, like a strong capable person who kicks ass at life, rather than someone just putting on a happy face to get through the day.

I stood in my dining room for a long time last night soaking in that feeling while I stretched.

The mental clarity that comes from a gut-checking summer run reminded me that I can handle whatever life throws at me with grace and poise.

Sometimes I think running really can fix anything.

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